set plans, not expectations.
In my pre-departure training that the other Jordanian volunteers who were willing to volunteer around the same time and I got from my sending organization YNDI, we had the chance to talk about our expectations. We had this argument that we should lower our expectations and how assumptions and expectations might be a happiness killer. Then one volunteer called Wasan pointed out the idea of being realistic and how it is not the same idea as being pessimistic or optimistic. But it is about letting things be, without expecting, assuming, asking, or demanding.
I have to say that this conversation flashed in my mind more frequently this month for two reasons. First, this month was filled with many events, and second many things went out of my control (personal plans) and I had to accept and go on. Mainly, Argonauta Association hosted the youth exchange “Looking back moving forward” in its second version. Rose and I were participating and at the same time supporting the logistics team. The topic of this YE is very interesting and heavy and I would like to write a separate blog about it. But I would like to reflect on my experience participating in it.
I am grateful for the opportunity to attend such a diverse event with 40 young people from five different countries. I found everyone to be incredibly kind and welcoming. I enjoyed participating in cultural nights where we danced and tried traditional foods. Overall, I feel fortunate to have been a part of this event and appreciate the unique experiences it provided.
In regards to expectations, I planned a trip in the first weekend of April to Bosnia and Herzegovina and it was in Ramadan so I imagined that it would be a very spiritual trip for me. Many things changed in the plan, although I had really nice adventures for example I got the chance to hike in the deep snow for the first time. And I know that I would never do it alone but because I was with Rose and our host was an experienced hiker which made this happen. I was so grateful for the adventures but looking for that missing scene. The scene that I created in my imaginary which is in other words what I expected even if I get something more than what I wanted I still look for the missing specific thing I wanted. Which is the trap I think Emad in the pre-departure training mentioned and did not want us to fall into it.
On the other hand, I got a cancellation from the airlines for my visit to Germany to celebrate Eid Alfitr with my sister. I decided on the spot to visit Istria that weekend. So I had no plan no expectations no assumptions. I was literally arriving at one place and looking for the next destination what will be. I hung out with local people from Pula, they explained to me the history of Istria and took me on a tour in Pula. I spent Eid with a nice American-Croatian lady, she took me in her car to nearby villages and I could visit this trip more than 5 cities and villages which would not happen in 3 days without her support.
In short, I’m not saying we shouldn’t plan. Planning helps us adjust our course and learn from our mistakes. But setting expectations can make us unforgiving, rigid mindsets that allow little room for understanding. This can create undue pressure to be perfect. Instead, we should focus on progress and be kind to ourselves and others when things go wrong.
